Christmas Cat #29 - Mumphry Puddin'Lick

Mumphry was trained to behave using electro shock therapy. Can you tell? Me neither. His owner thought it would protect him from deadly electrolyte deficiency. For Christmas he wants a lint roller, various combs and brushes, tuna, and a new owner.

Christmas Cat #30 - Professor Meowmers Sassypaws

Professor Meowmers is a tenured instructor in the Classics department.

Christmas Cat #31 - Dustin D. Banister

Having always been somewhat less approachable than his friends, Dustin was left to his own devices throughout his later ears.

Christmas Cat #32 - Giblet "Gibby" Cowlick

It's been a long two days of Thanksgiving for Gibby. She's been in this chicken suit since before the big din, and can't take it off until she licks all of the turkey bones clean. Only 53 left to go! Please, no intestine piercings.

Christmas Cat #31 - Carol Beenis

From this photo, you might ascertain that Carol Beenis is just a sleeping cat, tired after a long day of meowing. But you'd be wrong. She is dead.

Christmas Cat #32 - Herman Kibblebottom

Herman Kibblebottom was born a reindeer, but destiny had other things in mind. As we all know, Santa's workshop has had to change their production line a bit since the PS3 droopped below $300. The Elves have had to dip their toes into the previously untouched realm of 3-D gaming, and as they attempted to modernize, were forced to toss out their first twenty or so failed models. These junk gaming systems sat in an enormous radioactive pile for months, growing ever more powerful and dangerous...
One fine fall day, Herman was taking his early morning canter, and decided that being a cat would be pretty swell. So he hired a plastic surgeon.

Christmas Cat #33 - Hyde Toona

"WHERRRE DID YOU HIDE THE TUNA???"



"meow?"

Christmas Cat #34 - Uncle DEEZ Pawz

"Deez are the paws that will get you all the Ladies," Uncle Deezs' Uncle had told him when he was a kitten. That message will stick with Deez fur ever and ever. His job as a hand model for Jared's ring department gets him all the tail he could ever ask for, but also attributes strongly to his alcohol addiction. His apartment is litter-ed with dry gin and whisker bottles, and he's constantly licking the milk from the bottom of the jug. His life is far from purrrfect, but he really is trying to cat-nip his drinking problem in the butt!

Christmas Cat #35 - Binglebop Hiddybiddy

Just a wee kitten, Binglebop Hiddybiddy was born on Halloween 2009. Her mouse costume made all the kitties at the party howl. She's hungry for Thanksgiving, where mother promised her one cooked bean, one half of a cooked carrot, and three kernels of corn. What a feast for a vegan kitty! She just wants it to snow for Christmas.

Christmas Cat #36 - Marmaduke Spaznoff

The Russians began training spy cats in 1989 when "All Dogs Go to Heaven" suggested that animals could return from the dead to spoil their plans for world domination. Sadly, most of the cats were never completely trained in the subtle art of disguise, and were shot by the American military as strays. Though issued a set of spectacles connected to a human nose, the cats proved unable to integrate themselves into the American military, and the Russian commanders soon replaced the project with a better one.

Christmas Cat #37 - Mirabel Middelfinker

Cuddly and cute does not begin to describe Mirabel. Cuddly and cute describes this, and that is a dog. Underneath that red velvet cloak hides a pair of devil horns capable of piercing the hearts of a million newborn babies. Her eyes, seemingly innocent, stare daggers into the souls of all living creatures when she becomes angry. Her gaping maw vomits putrid bile akin to that found in the stomach of Satan himself, and is lined with a set of three hundred sliver-thin teeth used to tear the flesh of the unworthy.
She has requested a Furby for Christmas.

Christmas Cat #38 - Ilene Pringles-Festerpus

Due to an early, and quite unhappy marriage to Dormand Paulson, a neighborhood Tabby, Ilene Pringles-Festerpus learned to cope with stress and dissapointment through rigorous dietary training. By limiting her intake to a carefully calculated mix of onion peels, canned tuna, sourdough bread, and calcium suppliments, she keeps a level head in every social situation. Side effects of this diet include: inability to blink, nauseating vertigo and dizziness, enlarging of the eyes, shrinking of the head and paws, enlarging of the ears, constant uneasiness due to Ichthyophobia, Ailurophobia, a somewhat uncontrollable attraction to toes and lemons, and an agonizingly slow death.

Christmas Cat #39 - Old Mr. Lipbalm Sniffer

Old Sniffer, as his friends call him, has developed a terrible case of Athletes Foot due to his involvement in the PNCKC (Panama National Cat Kicking Contest). Doctors did all they could, but in the end, had to call in a veterinarian. Old Sniffer was told that the amputations would begin in January and that he would lose all four paws.
Maybe we could all make his Christmas a little bit brighter by giving him a shiny new set of Kitten Mittens!!

Christmas Cat #40 - Moobertta Boom Boom

When we think "cutest thing ever", the only animal that comes to mind is Moobertta. The pick of her litter, she was chosen by philanthropists in South America to be raised as a poster child for the Save a Cat foundation. The stress of being such a visible icon caused her to became addicted to pink flowers, a rare strain of narcotic only affecting cats. Her addiction soon tore her family apart and she went into hiding for fear of being forced into kitty rehab. But as she always said, "you try to meowke me go to rehab, and I say meow meow meow!"

Christmas Cat #41 - Absolom Beaglehole Jr.

Making the most of the Indian Summer, Absolom decides to mow his lawn one last time. Unfortunately, his little kitten feet can't reach the pedals! Oh, Absolom!! Good thing he insured his lawn against cat-astrophies!!

Christmas Cat #42 - Dormunkus Plasticine

" This little piggy went to Christmas!" said Dormunkus as he donned his favorite Santa costume.

Christmas Cat #43 - Mittens Blunderbuss

A warm welcome to Mittens Blunderbuss, our Wednesday Christmas Kitty. Hailing from Worthville, Kentucky( population 215), she bring some southern twang and small town charm to our otherwise big city livin' blog. For Christmas she is hoping to not be picked last for the all-town cat volleyball game. You can do it, Mittens, all that practice is finally paying off!

Christmas Cat #44 - Dungus McCormic

Say hello to Dungus McCormic, the greatest kitty cat poet of all time. He specializes in word repetition and slant rhyme, but also enjoys good old iambic pentameter. For Christmas he wants a new set of pencils, some 5/8mm paper, and a set of working fingers.

Kristmas Kat #45 - Angeline Sapphire laBlanc

Meet Angeline Sapphire laBlanc. Her Christmas List includes another bouquet of Poinsettias, or perhaps some nicely arranged Daffodils, a cd of quotes by Mitch Hedberg, and if nothing else, a set of single-color contacts.

El Dumbo Los Beanbag